Took the tree down this afternoon and put up the picture of the meditating fox in his new fancy frame. Listening to some Todd Barry podcasts; one of the latest, I was pleased to find out, him talking with Neko Case – her being one of my long-time faves; me reaching for the solid gold uplift of Bowling Green every time I need an active and instant kitchen disco all to myself. Then I installed the new, sort of, big floor runner-mat-carpety thing in the room where I work; which is part of sorting out some environmental basics as another year of being and working here begins. Some half-useful shelving at last. (Mid-morning at a low ebb I’m very serious about shelving quite a lot.) And, of course that entailed a visit to IKEA.
I am so supremely shit at IKEA, it’s untrue. And it’s worse because I always tell myself I will not be shit. Every time, I say, I’ll be cool, I’ll be prepped, I will have my route planned out. And then instantly I’m jelly. Norman Wisdom. I’m an unattractive, sweatier version of Lee Evans. I am the very opposite of the meditating fox.
Added to the mainstay traits of my navigational dyslexia; of going off the list, off-brief; the sad distraction of meatballs; the relative dearth of visible staff that creates a slight after-the-rapture atmosphere, in which I’ve been left behind with those two over there, and that baby, and six thousand bread bins… added to these this year is my off-a-cliff eyesight. Fumbling to find spectacles – a serial pocket-tapper, anyway – cack-handedly threading the arms behind the ears, beneath the cap, still more like a Croft & Perry stooge, and squinting all the while for full and doomed effect. Having a public pop at the hand-held scanner for its inability to read. What a guy. And finally rewarded with The Panic of the unattended boxes while I bring the truck and its erratic turnover up to the altar-like bollards: open wide to receive.
The long runner mat under my feet, I disco-christen it to Suedehead, and dancing, eventually, become more like the fox in the picture than I’ve been.
Link to the artist here.