IKEA, Dancing and the Meditating Fox

Took the tree down this afternoon and put up the picture of the meditating fox in his new fancy frame. Listening to some Todd Barry podcasts; one of the latest, I was pleased to find out, him talking with Neko Case – her being one of my long-time faves; me reaching for the solid gold uplift of Bowling Green every time I need an active and instant kitchen disco all to myself. Then I installed the new, sort of, big floor runner-mat-carpety thing in the room where I work; which is part of sorting out some environmental basics as another year of being and working here begins. Some half-useful shelving at last. (Mid-morning at a low ebb I’m very serious about shelving quite a lot.) And, of course that entailed a visit to IKEA.

I am so supremely shit at IKEA, it’s untrue. And it’s worse because I always tell myself I will not be shit. Every time, I say, I’ll be cool, I’ll be prepped, I will have my route planned out. And then instantly I’m jelly. Norman Wisdom. I’m an unattractive, sweatier version of Lee Evans. I am the very opposite of the meditating fox.

Added to the mainstay traits of my navigational dyslexia; of going off the list, off-brief; the sad distraction of meatballs; the relative dearth of visible staff that creates a slight after-the-rapture atmosphere, in which I’ve been left behind with those two over there, and that baby, and six thousand bread bins… added to these this year is my off-a-cliff eyesight. Fumbling to find spectacles – a serial pocket-tapper, anyway – cack-handedly threading the arms behind the ears, beneath the cap, still more like a Croft & Perry stooge, and squinting all the while for full and doomed effect. Having a public pop at the hand-held scanner for its inability to read. What a guy. And finally rewarded with The Panic of the unattended boxes while I bring the truck and its erratic turnover up to the altar-like bollards: open wide to receive.

The long runner mat under my feet, I disco-christen it to Suedehead, and dancing, eventually, become more like the fox in the picture than I’ve been.

Fox Framed 1x

Link to the artist here.

 

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About Stevie Mitchell

I come from a long line of cartoons and beer. I was once peed on by a tiger. Hoping the resultant super-powers are yet to come, cos if these are they, then, grrrr....
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