If you really want to know, it’s because he kept singing ‘Hotel Calamifornia’ instead of ‘California’. He thought it was funny – his thing – to add in the extra syllable. But it was so annoying. In the end, I told him ‘you’ve got to stop doing that – that stupid way of singing. It’s either that or me.’
With me it was that Adam Ant song, Prince Charming. My ex would always sing it – and always in the shower – ‘Prince Charmingo, Prince Charmingo’ – like as in flamingo. Once I even stood the other side of the shower curtain with a bread knife. Honestly, marched all the way up to the bathroom because I could hear that ‘Charmingo’ going on and on in the shower. I never told him that. Looking back, I don’t think a bread knife was the right choice. But that’s me – bad choices.
Words and picture © Steve Mitchell, Fisher Lane, 2013